also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
