Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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