he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
