Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
