I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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