Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your penis caused this!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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