I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
