awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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