just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
