TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
this hospital has no fireball
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
