he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
