I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
