when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
