Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize