I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
