saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
