my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
