Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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