We're like a lot better than the average bears
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
