I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
