I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize