and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
