i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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