You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
