Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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