im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
