this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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