dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you had me at cake vodka
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
