Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
