saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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