I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
