After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
