I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
