I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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