i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
