i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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