she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize