that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
