My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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