You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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