that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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