i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
