if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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