Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
