White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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