FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
