I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
