I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
