i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
