i think i have herpe
just one?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
