I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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