i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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