I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
