Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
