i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think a kid would responsible me up
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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