Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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