omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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