Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
